Things Not To Do
Posted: September 25th, 2006 | Author: kristen from motherload | Filed under: Career Confusion, Friends and Strangers, Husbandry, Misc Neuroses, Miss Kate | 2 Comments »Do not start a new job and leave your daughter for the first time with a new nanny who for all you know could be an axe-murderer in the same week when your husband is away on a business trip and on Thursday you’ll already need to take a day off and be all packed and get yourself and your baby onto a 6AM flight to go to a family wedding.
Do not get your period the morning of your first day of work and have miserable cramps. And don’t forget to take Advil before you leave the house and spend the whole day hoping that you’ll magically find some in your office in the 30 second breaks between your back-to-back getting-to-know-you need-to-make-a-good-first-impression meetings.
Do not wear a pink dress shirt under a black dress on your first day of work, thinking it looks cute until you arrive at the office and realize you look like an overgrown girl in a Catholic school uniform.
Do not take on management of a community event when you are starting a new job and your husband is away on a business trip.
Do not freak out that the nanny that you hired is possibly terrible and that your daughter no longer loves you after one day left with a total stranger who you hope she will come to like someday, but not too much.
Do not get lost on your first drive home from your first day of work and ultimately sit in extra traffic and have to call the nanny and tell her you’ll be late and can she possible stay longer–establishing yourself in her mind as irresponsible (and as having a bad sense of direction).
Do not cry on the phone to your husband after feeding and bathing a crying overtired baby who didn’t take an afternoon nap, making him feel terrible about being away on a business trip.
Do not spend an hour updating a spreadsheet for your community event planning (which you have foisted off on your benevolent friend) when all you want to do is space out and watch TV, then have your computer crash and lose all your work.
Do not underestimate the many emails and calls you got from friends asking how your first day of work was, sending heaps of encouragement, and making you feel somewhat validated that this is indeed a big transition and worthy of stress, exhaustion, and anxiety but given time could turn out to be just fine and maybe even very rewarding.
Do not give into the temptation to ask your husband to come home from his business trip early just because you miss him madly and feel bad that he feels bad that you feel bad. Do go to sleep grateful to have him and looking forward to how happy you will be to see him in the Houston airport on Thursday.
Sigh…I hear ya sistah. If it makes you feel any better the whole scenario doesn’t roll out any more smoothly when you head back to a job that you’ve had for two years, with the same familiar people, riding the same old MUNI line, returning to the very accounts you’d left behind only four months ago. It still hurts, sucks, is stressful and anxiety ridden and makes me feel like poking my own eye out on an almost daily basis – just so I could stay home for a few weeks to recover.
I am hoping it gets better. Be grateful – you had a whole year. You only have to work three days away from Kate and only four total. You can do this.
Your ability to take on a million things gracefully and skillfuly is truly remarkable. In fact, when I was describing you to a friend earlier today I think I said something like, “even when she had a 3 month-old baby, there was nothing she couldn’t do, and do well.” How you ever made it through that first week of work blows my mind. Whatever company it is that you are running (or will end up running in time), they sure are lucky to have you.