A late entry into the digital age

I tend to be a late bloomer. Last in my middle-school class to get a bra, married at the tender age of 37–with a history of a host of other unintentionally fashionable latenesses. So, years into this whole blog phenom, I decided it’s finally safe for me to test the waters.

A disclaimer: Please don’t confuse me with anyone who has anything remotely lofty or thought-provoking to get off my chest. Mostly, I’d like to ramble on about the newest apple of my eye, light of my life, and silly smoochie-smooch–the amazing Kate Miller McClusky, age 6.5 months. And boy is she cute!!

But before I delve into her latest little life event or accomplishment (in the caliber of not spitting up after a feeding), the thing that is most on my mind these days is my mom. Monday marked 2 years since her death. (I’m someone who tends to shy away from saying “passed away” or worse, “passed on.”) Monday I woke up with a heavy heart, and felt fairly mopey for the whole day. In a weird way it surprised me. I’ve lived without her for 2 years, so why should this day be sadder than others?

There’s so much to say about being a new mother without my mother here to share it with. Mostly I miss being able to call her to relay the most mundane detail about Kate, and knowing she’ll relish it as much as I do. She was also a truly world-class grandmother to the grandchildren she lived to know (John and Rory, my sister Marie’s teens, and Maia and Tikloh, Ellen’s 7 and 4 year olds). The affection she seemed to dole out parsimoniously to us kids came in waves towards her grandchildren.

And part of why I wish she was here was just to plain show Kate off to her. Of all my life accomplishments, this is the biggest reason ever to say, “Hey Mom, watch this!” So, I’ll just assume she would adore Kate, find her cute as the dickens, and tease me in her super-sarcastic way about some or other of my approaches to motherhood.

Kate beckons… a likely end to most of my postings.